Hallmark Cards: Congrats! You’re Fired

I guess you have to give Hallmark credit. The greeting card giant has developed a product aimed at one of the few growing segments of our economy: the unemployed. If you know someone who has been kicked to the curb by his or her employer, you can now buy and send a card to express your sympathy.

Woot. And I’ll admit that beyond Mother’s Day I didn’t know anyone actually sent greetings cards these days. I bought a small number of holiday cards (proud of myself that I didn’t write the politically incorrect Christmas) a decade ago, and I still have most of them taking up valuable closet space. I digress.

Anyway, here’s from Jon Bershad at Mediaiate, “Hallmark Now Selling Sympathy Cards For Unemployed People“:

Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still like 50 days out of the year that haven’t been classified as holidays. So, in an attempt to boost sales, someone at Hallmark has come up a new demographic that, in America, is second only in size to “People Who Have Birthdays.” That’s right, they’re now releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off.

Yes, because there’s nothing unemployed people like more than knowing their friends still have enough money to spend $5.99 on a piece of paper.

From WLBZ:

“Hallmark recently rolled out a new line of layoff greeting cards.

Stores have a specific section for job loss and recession humor, offering words of support and encouragement.

With the unemployment rate at nine percent, the company says customers called-in the need.

One card reads ‘Don’t think of it as losing your job. Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses.’”

Bah ha ha ha! Man, if only unemployed people could spend food stamps on Dilbert books, they could really get over not having a job! Bosses are so stupid, am I right? Especially when they fire you and make it so you can’t feed your family and with each day you spend unemployed you get less and less hirable and why do I even need to get out bed today I mean it’s not like anyone expects me anywhere as I have absolutely nowhere to be and I could just die and no one would notice and I still have student loans.

Seriously though, funny, funny stuff. And apparently they’re selling well!

So, question to the unemployed amongst you, if someone showed up at your door right now with a brightly colored piece of paper featuring a cartoon dog, a pun, and a poorly recorded version of a 90s one-hit-wonder’s chorus as conciliation, how likely is the chance you’d punch them in the face? Just curious.

Sure. Most would punch them in the face. But I imagine that would be politically incorrect.

I report. You decide.

And talking about lots of yucks, does anyone think it is ironic that Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar were leading a discussion on The View that suggests that perhaps Chris Christie is too fat to be a credible presidential candidate?

LOL

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